Disallowed

Five days to the trial.

The boy’s company keeps my mind off.

Learned something terrible today though.

 

Apparently my mom not visiting for a lack of strength isn’t true.

In today’s letter - devastated as always - she reports that she’s not allowed.

Would I have known I would have tried to demand and maybe even extended the hunger strike.

This letter from my mom surprised me as it stated that she was not allowed to see me. My dad told me that she wasn't strong enough. They must have put him under pressure. Maybe because they wanted to avoid for me to fight that rule. Their psychological assumption worked: I fucking would have!

This letter from my mom surprised me as it stated that she was not allowed to see me. My dad told me that she wasn't strong enough. They must have put him under pressure. Maybe because they wanted to avoid for me to fight that rule. Their psychological assumption worked: I fucking would have!


Dad did not mention so they must have put him under pressure.

The one-page limit to the letters is bad enough but the one-parent visit rule is cruel.

Not for me as I have known all along why I am here and that I’m paying a price for my decision.


But for my mom.

I can hardly imagine her pain.

Why didn’t we ever talk about this in here?


“Hey guys, how many people visit you from your folks?”

“One, my mom sees me coz my dad can’t travel.”

“It’s the rule. Why do you ask?"


There is no use to complain or fight it now.

Come Tuesday I will know my sentence.

I might be gone by Thursday.


Thinking about mom for the rest of the night.

And I’m looking forward to prison wherever that might be.

Because I’ll see my mom again during monthly visitations.


And if not?

I’ll sing the hunger blues again.

If they want to pick that fight I say: bring it on!