Old and wise

It is not easy to find a place to cry in here.

Crying for pain (damn arm).

Or for loved ones.

 

Was thinking of my grandpa a lot.

And of my folks of course.

Some cry at night.

 

Only, the entire three story bunk bed shakes.

Matthias was crying at night a lot.

His bed stopped shaking.

 

It’s been a month now at work.

When I move my hand my arm feels like sand inside.

It heats up with the first pieces I press and punch and stays hot all day.

 

The pain is numbing.

What’s more numbing is the total lack of music.

4.5 half months and I’ve only kept two songs inside.

 

How could that have happened?

Nina Hagen: African Reggae of all songs.

And ‘Old and wise’ by Alan Parsons Project:

 

'As far as my eyes can see
There are shadows approaching me
And to those I left behind
I wanted you to know
You've always shared my deepest thoughts
You follow where I go

And oh when I'm old and wise
Bitter words mean little to me
Autumn winds will blow right through me
And someday in the mist of time
When they asked me if I knew you
I'd smile and say you were a friend of mine
And the sadness would be lifted from my eyes
Oh when I'm old and wise

As far as my eyes can see
There are shadows surrounding me
And to those I leave behind
I want you all to know
You've always shared my darkest hours
I'll miss you when I go

And oh, when I'm old and wise
Heavy words that tossed and blew me
Like autumn winds will blow right through me
And someday in the mist of time
When they ask you if you knew me
Remember that you were a friend of mine
As the final curtain falls before my eyes
Oh when I'm old and wise

As far as my eyes can see'

 

Makes me cry.

Every single time.

It’s a good, warm cry.