Waiting for Santa

Kulas.

I met him today.

They got me out of my cell after breakfast.

stasi-knast-schreibtisch.jpg

 

It took them 6 weeks to work on my “rejection of re-integration” letter.

In the beginning I thought they’d be beating me up real bad.

They might just have tried another way with my illness.

 

Kulas sat behind his desk in a surprisingly small office.

A massive guy in his 50s, dark haired.

He scanned me forever first.

 

“So, you believe writing such letters gets you where you want to be headed?”

“I don’t know what to believe in a state that keeps lying to everybody.”

Am I picking a fight that gets me into something I won’t get out of?

 

To my surprise he remained calm and kept studying me.

Skipped through my file and smiled here and there.

“You are too smart to play any games THIEME.”

 

“Not playing games. 

You guys don’t want to understand that I’m lost on you.

If I’d die I will try everything to get out of this country and if it’s the last thing."

 

This was the first time I had heard my name spoken by any official in almost a year.

He kept listening to my rants and plans to make aware of my case.

“I don’t care if I end up back here the day after my release!"

 

“No additional letter will get you to ‘the other side’ quicker.”

What did he try to tell me I was wondering.

He answered in riddles.

 

“It’s like anticipating Santa for Christmas.”

Does he know anything or was he just trying to get me back in line?

Right after the discussion they put me back to command, back to my comrades.

 

We spent the night with updates and stories.

One fellow’s wife tried to hang herself in Hohenschönhausen.

The public seemed to be less worried about the Chernobyl nuclear accident.

 

Rudolf is still here and he produced the yummiest dinner for us.

He won’t show his worries as his sentence ends in just about 6 weeks.

Are we both doomed to stay till the end and meet on the outside again?

 

We should arrange something big then.

But I don’t want to wait that long.

 

It’ll happen on August the 13th.